by Gnifrus Urquart
I have a friend who has recently been bitten by the “fitness bug” Its quite strange. She is not actually training for anything, yet trains hours every day. She pays $40 an hour, (which apparently is cheap) three times a week to a personal trainer. He now gets her to fill in a “food diary” so he can check what she eats everyday.
Its a little bit sad really, she originally went out to give herself a better life yet now she cannot even enjoy many of its simple joys. Eating popcorn at the movies fills her with guilt. A dinner out with friends will be finished early if she has training tomorrow. She isn’t actually training for anything specific, yet her regime rules her life.
I have another friend who used to be the ultimate family man. Everything he did at work was driven by his desire to improve the lifestyle and standard of living of his wife and children. He just loved going home and sharing the fruits of his labours with them.
One day he got promoted. Of course he did, he was extremely motivated and professional at work, his wife was his inspiration and the reason for his success. But when he got promoted, something changed. Work wasn’t about providing for his family anymore, it grew a life of its own. All of a sudden, power and the career ladder were the only things he could see.
To my mind, both these friends have lost their way. They have forgotten about the real things in their lives, the important things. They have gotten so caught up in an idea, they’ve lost all balance. They’ve became slaves to it.
My first friend started her experience with the desire to live a healthier, fuller life. Today this desire has narrowed to a life that excludes anything not related to her training schedule. My other friend’s hunger for power and career success was so strong that it displaced his love for family as his number 1 priority. It became an end in its own right when previously it was simply a means to an end.
Historically, this has never been a normal way of living. Historically, people only ever did what they had to do to support themselves and their loved ones. What time was left was honoured as time to enjoy, time to share. There was only one group of people for whom work was the end game in life, and we called them slaves. Its interesting that today, despite slavery being outlawed, people still live in a similar manner.
Have a look at your own life. This is something I do all the time. Is there anything you seem to be dedicating yourself to, that really should be a means to a higher purpose. Is there anything you working on for the sake of the work, rather than the benefits that work should bring?
If there is, have you enslaved yourself to an idea? Ask yourself this. How will you look back at the endeavour in 20 years? Will it be something which made your life better or will it be something that stifled your life, resulting in missed opportunities and time not spent with loved ones?
Typically the people who become slaves to something in their lives, do so because they get so caught up in what they are doing, that they lose their perspective. Having lost perspective, the important things in life become muddied and unclear. If this sounds life you, there is a simple way to get your perspective back. You need to stop everything for one weekend. Go away for this time, on a retreat if you like. Spend this time thinking about and documenting the really important things in your life.
If you do this exercise properly, you should end up with a list of things which are benefits of your toil, not part of the work itself. And they should be things that enhance your life. The goals of the company you work for should not be on your list. So a career goal could be early retirement, or an annual holiday to a remote part of the world. A fitness goal could be climbing to base camp Everest. Meeting a project deadline, or doing more repetitions at a higher weight are the type of thing which should NOT be on your list.
Once you get your perspective, you’ll throw the shackles of slavery which have held you in your rut. You’ll regain control on your life, you won’t be dancing to anyone else’s tune. So protect your perspective, remember what is important in your life and make sure the work you do serves your life goals. This is very different to your life serving your work goals.